Thursday, September 1, 2011

”If you say so then I will rest ”


This is what she said to me when I told her ”Amma don’t worry I am here , you take rest” . Little did I know at that moment  that Amma is going to rest  forever and these would be her last words.  It is 10 years ago today she said these parting words to me. I am not sure if I should call myself lucky as I happened to be in India at that time or unlucky that  this should have happened at all. 


Amma with dad

When I look back and think I could not have got anyone better than her. Today I think I could have been a better child :-).  She is patience personified and everyone tells me that they have not seen her being angry even once. Amma is a very special person not only to us but to the entire town she lived in and to the people she knew. She was a doctor by profession and she only knew to give and give and just give.  If I had to go for a walk with her, we had to stop every 5 meters as there would be people greeting her and talking to her all the way, some even following us through the walk. I distinctly remember being impatient with her , for always going out of her way to help people. If there was need in the town– she was the first one to be there.  I was impatient that she was giving too much of herself  (may be I was worried that she should take more care of herself ). But I realised on that day the Sept 2nd 2001, what she gained. There were tens of thousands of people wanting to get the last glimpse of her.  I remember atleast 5 to 6, 90+ year old women who could not even barely stand,  came all the way from far off villages being carried in chairs and cots to bid her goodbye. Some crying why God had been so cruel that he had to take their daughter away and not them.  
  
Amma and me
A lady from a well known family in the town approached me  that night ( the cremation was on the 3rd) and asked if she could sit by my mother along with us that night.  She sat all night there and told me that when she was in labor and admitted to the hospital , she was scared to be alone and asked amma if a nurse or someone could be by her side. Later in the night when she woke up she saw my mother sitting in the chair holding her hand and just smiled at her and said – "don’t worry I am here".  She wanted to be with amma that last night.
After the 11th day ceremony I called the cook to clear his bill. He just burst into tears and told me – to be able to cook for amma is the least I could do. If not for her I and my family would have been long gone. She just knew what we needed and was always there to help us. He said I am her son , please don’t insult me by offering to pay.

I had several such touching experiences that day.  I am more than fortunate to be her biological daughter but then she has earned many of them by virtue of her deeds. More than a doctor she was a mother , daughter, sister to the people of the town and half of their disease would run off by seeing her. 
Amma I know you are always with us but I miss you and I miss you dearly.
 

22 comments:

  1. Shanthi, your mother was very warm and kind person. thank you for writing this post so we could know a kind soul like her...when I read that'not angry once' I realized sometimes how impatient I am with my son....She was very beautiful too...thank you for sharing this.

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  2. a beautiful post...you were lucky to have such a wonderfully inspiring mother. Thanks for sharing...

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  3. Awww...what a beautiful post Shanthi! Mothers are always special..aren't they?? Thanks for sharing this lovely post.

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  4. Shanthi- this was a really touching post and one of the best I've read on blogland. You are definitely lucky to have been born to such a lovely human being.

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  5. What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful mother Shanthi. Thank you so much for sharing her life with us, what a special person she was:)

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  6. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your mother with us. I am sure your mother realized how much you loved her and also why you were impatient with her. It is only after we become mothers do we understand the depths of their love. She lives on forever in so many people's lives. That is a great testament to her skill and love and need to help out people irrespective of their place in life.

    My3

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  7. Lovely post Shanti...Very special. Thanks for sharing...and your mom seems to be a great lady, warm, big hearted and kind. it is ok.
    Yes your mom is no longer with you in her physical self, but will always always be with you in every other possible way. Love and Hugs Shanti...

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  8. What a special warm tribute to your mother Shanthi! I know wherever she is, she is proud of you and the mother you have become to your children!
    Hugs - Kamini

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  9. Even I miss my mother like you very much. And I feel that I could have spent more time with her, shown less irritation with her, and more of a daughter she would have liked. But like everyone else we become so engrossed in our own life and our own problems, that we don't realize at that time what we are missing.
    I can fully understand your feelings. That is why i keep telling all the youngsters never to keep taking time for granted, for soon we may not have the time to say everything we always wanted to say, or be the person we always wanted to be with our parents.
    It is really sad, we come to realize late. Just before her death, she felt like coming and staying with me in Bangalore for 10 days, and luckily we could take her to visit all her favorite relatives, and made her stay very happy.
    She went back and 2 days after her 49th wedding anniversary she just suddenly died of a massive heart attack without any warning.
    I am sure our mothers would understand us just as we would understand our children.
    Your mom was really very simple and yet beautiful, and she had chosen a life which was to serve others and she did her job very well. It is indeed a fine tribute to your mother.

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  10. I am so honoured to have read ur post. Its difficult to imagine life without our parents but thats life. Having such a mother def means a lot :). God bless her soul..We need more such people in the world

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  11. Shanthi: This is a beautiful post. May your mom rest in peace. You are a lucky to be the daughter of such a lovely lady. My toughts and best wishes to you and your family. hugs..Anu

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  12. santhi,u made me cry......
    my thoughts are with you,love laksh

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  13. Such a moving post. And a fitting tribute. You are really fortunate to have such a great soul as your mother. Its really difficult to think of a life without parents. Its really tough. She seems to have lived the Boddhisatva way of life.Hugs to you for bringing her alive again amidst our hearts and minds.Through her good karma she has become immortal.

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  14. Such a touching tribute to your mother. We take those we love for granted too often and it's such a loss to not be able to tell someone how important they are.

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  15. Such a warm post, nothing can substitute mothers love

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  16. Shanthi.. such an amazing tribute.. Your mom is someone we all should learn from and aspire to be!! truly.. a beautiful person.. We often take our parents for granted.. and yes.. I do agree as well.. I could.. and can probably be a better daughter.. and a better parent.. *sigh*... Thank you!! I'll surely be doing some thinking tonight.. Thank you love!!

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  17. Oh Shanthi, this brought a lump to my throat, this such a beautiful tribute to her. It sounds like she was a truly amazing person and how lucky you were to have such a wonderful mother!

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  18. Oh Shanthi this is such a beautiful post. You brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure she's very proud of her daughter too--beautiful inside and out!

    much love,
    Gagan

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  19. what a beautiful and heartfelt post. Mothers...ah! you realize their true worth once you have children of your own. Nothing can ever match up to their love for you and what all they have done for you.

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  20. This is such a heart-warming post, Shanthi. You are lucky to be a daughter of such a wonderful lady. Her compassion for others is and will always be remembered and appreciated. I am sure that she is showering her choicest blessing on all of you.

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  21. Oh my God Shanthi garu, what a touching personal account. Some people are gifted to us by God nd v can only b grateful that v had them with us. Thank you for sharing your very private moments with us.

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